You know those memes that are going around? The ones with various occupations/lifestyles/etc. that show what people actually do all day? Here’s one I found for the Stay At Home Mom, otherwise known as the SAHM:
Yeah, it’s funny; it represents young moms in their twenties and early thirties, and although I take great satisfaction in a meal well prepared like the “What I Think I Do” mom, I’m pretty sure that at no point in my mothering career would it have ever been a good idea for me to cook in a bikini top. (I’ve breastfed four kids. Use your imagination.)
But what about the mom of older kids? My youngest is ten, and while there is still a substantial amount of cuddling and reassuring with a smidgeon of scolding going on, caring for my family now is a lot different than it was then. (Although I’m pretty sure that I just scraped dried boogers off of my dining room wall, so some things haven’t changed all that much.)
It’s frustrating because I imagined I would have more time during the day than I actually do. My oldest has moved out and is self sufficient, my second oldest is off at college, my third is busy with high school and dance, and my youngest chose to go to public school this year instead of remaining a homeschooler. Pass the truffles? No.
My day so far:
- Sleep in until 7:30. Yes, I should have gotten up with my husband and high schooler but I’d rather suffer from guilt later than abandon my very warm down comforter and snuggly cat before I absolutely have to.
- Help my ten year old figure out what she wants for breakfast. This is always a pain in the ass unless there are delicious leftovers to heat up because Cheerios are for chumps.
- Shower and dress. Apply spackle (makeup) so as not to frighten the general public.
- Go purchase sports bras and Spandex shorts. For me? Oh, no. My daughter in college plays rugby. The sports bras are self explanatory. The Spandex shorts are to be worn under her uniform in the event that her pants are pulled off on the field. I am hoping that this is real rugby and not some kind of other rugby that ends up being shown on a ‘Girls Gone Wild’ commercial on late night TV.
- Go to the post office and mail said sports bras and Spandex shorts. I spend a lot of time at the post office these days. Mailing care packages, mailing no longer needed text books that have been sold on the internet, mailing shorts. FYI to future parents of college students who opt to attend an out of state university: tuition, application fees, Sallie Mae interest payments, and dorm room supplies are only the beginning. I have no money. I spend it all on postage.
- Come home to sweep and mop the floors. Staying home all day with no small children means that my house should be clean and free of dog puddles.
- Clean the bathrooms. The toilets need to be clean in case CPS needs to come investigate me because god only knows what Jilly tells her teachers about her home life.
- Remove aforementioned boogers from wall. Die inside a little.
- Do the dishes. (No, wait: I’ll do that later.)
- Walk Elvis so that he’ll stop walking around sobbing from boredom.
- Spend thirty minutes trying to locate tax documents by digging through the pile of paperwork by the front door. Not necessarily a bad thing; I threw away a lot of junk mail, found a $50.00 gift card that I didn’t know I had (woot!) and make things look better in general. Still no tax form, though.
- Gaze briefly but longingly at my knitting bag and wish I could just watch the rest of Season 2 of Once Upon A Time while knitting and drinking a Double Big Gulp.
That’s it so far. The rest of my day? I’ll try to plan our dinners for the rest of the week, pick up Jilly from school because she’s currently angry at the schoolbus driver, prepare dinner and clean it up, supervise bagpipe and violin practice, walk the other dogs, and do some picking up and dropping off of my fifteen year old while fantasizing about the day she gets her driver’s license.
I want my own meme. Minus the boogers.
How was everybody else’s day?