It’s Halloween! Halloween is my favorite holiday; it’s festive, the food is awesome, the photo opportunities are grand, and there are no presents to buy. I never dress up, though; probably because I’m too busy thinking about the kids’ costumes to worry about myself. If I *could* dress up, I’d want to be Stevie Nicks:
I could probably pull off the short, “not a size 6″ look, but Stevie’s just way too exotic. And then there’s the hair.
I think that Kristen Wiig as Jamie Lee Curtis in the Saturday Night Live yogurt commercial spoof would probably be more realistic:
I love Jamie Lee Curtis. She manages to make the middle years of a woman’s life look amazing. Seeing someone who manages to be beautiful despite a few wrinkles and seriously gray hair is inspirational.
Getting older is hard. Why? Let me count the ways.
- I’m usually the oldest mom in the crowd. Since I started my family in my mid-twenties and spaced the four kids out pretty far, I tend to look more like the granny rather than the mom when I visit my fourth grader’s school.
- Hair in weird places. I’m having to pluck in areas that didn’t have hair a few years ago. I also have to be on the lookout for hair in hard to see places, like my elbows.
- Gravity. I knew things would sag as I got older but I didn’t expect to have to shift all my business around in order to get comfortable on my tummy in bed at night.
- The questions: “Are you eligible for the senior discount?” No. “Do you still get your periods?” Yes. “Are you depressed?” What do you think?
- Mammograms. Nothing like having your boobs smashed by heavy machinery after a technician has called your attention to the excess breast tissue that has grown on your ribcage.
- Mandatory blood work that involves fasting. Until “fasting” means “no food but by all means, have all the coffee you want”, I guess I’ll never know if my cholesterol is high or if my thyroid is about to explode.
- Being uncool. I can totally hold my own with the hipster guy who cuts my hair at the Great Clips by the college, but I have NO IDEA who the musical guests are on Saturday Night Live anymore.
All of that does suck, but it could always be worse. I’m not aging horribly. There are only two prescriptions in my bathroom, and I really only need one of them. I get to watch my grandbaby trick or treat tonight for the first time; how lucky is that? John is home to help carve the pumpkins. The kids will have fun, we’ll eat Taco Soup and candy, and hopefully nobody will get sick.
Happy Halloween, everybody!